Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Does Your Husband Suffer from HHS?

There is an epidemic sweeping through the homes of families all around the world.  Very few homes are safe from this epidemic, and there is no cure.  It begins relatively small, with only a few symptoms, and then escalates to the point of no return.  Wives everywhere are baffled as to how this is possible.  While the symptoms of this syndrome are at times humorous, they can also be irritating.  Because there is no cure, we, as wives, have to somehow embrace these symptoms and view them as endearing as opposed to annoying. 

Let's discuss the symptoms.  In the beginning, the symptoms are relatively small.  Sometime after saying "I do," he starts leaving socks on the floor, underwear and t-shirts are thrown on the back of the chair.  At first these seem like isolated events, not the beginning of this wide-spread epidemic.  Casually and patiently you explain to your new spouse where you have put the hamper for the dirty clothes in hopes that he will remember where it is located the next time he gets undressed.  Unfortunately, this does not happen.  Instead, he leaves them on the floor.  Because you are newly married, you start picking up his dirty clothes for him and put them in the hamper.  After all, why start an argument over something so small?

Now skip forward a couple of years.  You are tired, it was a long day at work, and you and hubby just finished dinner. You ask him to please do the dishes while you go take a shower to relax.  He agrees.  After taking a shower and upon returning to the kitchen, you are astonished to see that all of the dishes are in the sink, NOT the dishwasher.  When called out, your husband simply replies with, "you do a much better job of putting them in the dishwasher than I do.  At least I put them all in the sink."  Defeated, you put them in the dishwasher yourself, at least he appreciates your dishwasher-loading skills, right?

Ok, now you have kids.  Maybe more than one.  Let's say you now have three.  And they are all sick.  Because they are sick, you cannot go to the store so you ask hubby to go for you.  He obliges, asks you the best way to go (really, he doesn't know this?!), and goes only to call you as soon as he gets there because he has no idea where anything in the store is.  And then he can't believe how much everyting costs.  It is then that you realize that this man never goes to the grocery store.  He has not shopped for food since he was single.  Suddenly, you start to put the pieces together.  He thinks the floor is his hamper, he has no idea where the washer and dryer are, the thought of cleaning the house sends him heading for the hills, the dishwasher is a mythical object, food just appears in the pantry by magic and then magically onto his plate, he has to ask you where everything is in the house because he has no clue.  The list goes on and on.  It is at this time that it slaps you in the face and you realize that the epidemic that is sweeping the world has come into your home.  Your husband has Helpless Husband Syndrome.  He can't do anything for himself.  Nothing.  Zero.  Zilch.  Nada.

This has happened at my house.  I do not know how it happened, but it did.  My husband, love him dearly, cannot do one thing for himself.  Thing is, he will admit it.  He is proud of it.  It is almost like a status symbol.  What made me realize it tonight was a commercial.  There is a TV commercial that depicts a husband asking his wife to hand him the TV remote control that is literally about 5 inches from his hand and she is across the room; so she has to walk over to get it for him.  That happened at my house tonight, only I was in a different part of the house taking care of a sick child, and I had to come into the room to see what he wanted.  Seriously, true story.  Don't get me wrong, I love my husband, but he is helpless.  I'm not sure what he did when he was single, how he survived, how he ever had clean clothes or knew the directions to where he was going.  Thank God he found me before he had to suffer with this affliction and stumble through his life lost.

Does your husband suffer from Helpless Husband Syndrome (HHS)?  Here are the signs, see if he tests positive:

  1. His dirty clothes are not put in the hamper.
  2. He hasn't done laundry in this century.
  3. He hasn't set foot in the grocery store since that last meal he cooked you before you were married.
  4. He doesn't know that the dishwasher exists.
  5. He wakes you up at night to tell you that the baby is crying so you should go check on her/him instead of going himself.
  6. He doesn't know where anything is in the house and has to ask you where things are.


10 comments:

  1. Haha. That's funny. My DH isn't THAT bad. He does leave clothes laying around, but he helps with the kids and knows how to load the dishwasher. I don't like to send him to the store because he usually comes back with more than I told him to (or gave him money for).

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  2. Thanks for linking up with the Planet Weidknecht weekend hop!

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  3. Thanks for dropping by Letters to Mo! My hubs has this. The thing that annoys me the most is the dishes in the sink. He just leaves them there and doesn't rinse them or stick them in the dishwasher! So they grow crusty until I do it. I'm like, "it takes ten seconds!"

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  4. Yep, my Husband has this! I think it's hilarious that he can't make a trip to the grocery store without calling me 2-6 times. Now we just need to start working on a cure ;)

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  5. The hamper issue still plagues us. The rest he's overcome. Mostly. Just keep the grocery list to four items or less.

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    1. At least yours has overcome the rest, lol. The grocery list that I give him usually consists of fewer than 5 items, but unless it can be found at the check out line, he has no clue on where to begin! Thanks for stopping by!

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  6. Hahaha!! This is so great. My husband TOTALLY suffers from HHS. He doesn't even put the dishes in the sink- at least yours does that!

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    1. Good to know that my husband is not the only one who suffers! I guess I should count my blessings about putting the dishes in the sink, lol. Thanks for reading!

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  7. Total HHS at our house. I often leave instructions for my husband on my blog to try and counteract this plight!

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    1. That's a good idea, maybe I should try that! Thanks for stopping by!

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Please let me know what you think!