Monday, May 7, 2012

What it Means to be Called "Mommy"

I have not slept through the entire night or visited the restroom alone since 2003.  Showers do not go uninterrupted because there is always someone standing at the shower door with some sort of "emergency."  I have long since given up on having a clean van.  The windows at my house are constantly covered in fingerprints no matter how many times a day I clean them.  The floor of my house has been turned into a battlefield when walked across barefoot because there is always a Lego or Barbie stiletto hiding, waiting to be stepped on so that I may shriek in pain.  I seem to be the only one who knows where the dishwasher is located, or that we even have one for that matter, and where the hampers are located.  The laundry is never "finished" for more than an hour, my house never remains clean for more than two hours (and that is only during naptime), and I usually look as if my shirt has been used for a Kleenex.

My eight-year-old constantly spews "life's not fair," if only she knew.  My six-year-old complains "Why do we have do everything and you don't do anything?" when I ask them to pick up their toys.  And my one-year-old has deemed the dishwasher, the oven, the washing machine, and the dryer to be "Mommy's."  There are days I think that I want a break from "Mommy duties" just for a day, but then I start thinking... 

I thought I wanted someone else to clean the house, but then I would have to do a "pre-cleaning" for a cleaning lady so I decided against that, too much trouble.  I thought maybe I might want someone else to do the laundry, but then I remembered what happened to my clothes the last time my husband "tried to help": I had to buy new clothes because they looked like they would fit the kids.  A night away somewhere with my husband sounded good, but we have tried that and we end up being upset and nervous about being away from the kids (yeah, I know, we have issues).  I could get a manicure, but it would be ruined after giving baths every night.  I could get a pedicure, but with my feet being stepped on by little people, all it does is chip the polish.

So that being said, I guess I will not relinquish my "Mommy duties" for the day.  I will just enjoy chasing my kids around the house while praying that Barbie hasn't kicked off her shoes or tried to build a house of Legos, help my six-year-old pick up her toys so that she thinks that at least I do something around here, and somehow convince my eight-year-old that life isn't always fair, but most of the time it is pretty great.

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1 comment:

  1. This is so funny! I so agree about the pre-cleaning that comes with a cleaning lady. Total stress! My family doesn't know where the hamper or dishwasher is either. I feel your pain! Thanks for the laughs and thanks for linking up with us over at #findingthefunny this week!

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