Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Summer Procrastinations: It Was Over So Fast

Summer is almost over.  In just three short weeks school will start again.  Which means only one thing: I have to cram a whole bunch of summer fun that I have failed to do thus far into three weeks.  Oh joy.  Procrastination at it's finest, I even procrastinate on the fun stuff.  I can either call it procrastination or failure.  I prefer procrastination, even though I have been procrastinating some things for years, I refuse to call it failure.  Here is my short list of "Summer Procrastinations."  I refuse to call it "Summer Failures" because hopefully there will be more summers to make up for the things that I have not done this year (which is something I say every year).

1.  Museum Procrastination.  Ok, so I did take them one time, but I had planned on taking them to more than one.  The one day that we did go was fun, we even had a picnic.  Then I got lazy and did not want to drive the ten miles it took to get there and watch a dozen other kids interact terribly with one another because apparently their parents never taught them how to behave in public.  Or they do not care because they are too busy talking to each other or playing with their phone.  Meanwhile my kids are unable to see the exhibit because I am not on the anxiety medication that the other parents seem to be on that allows them to not care that their children are climbing over each other, the exhibit, hanging from the ceiling, or trying to climb over the glass wall at the alligator exhibit.  True story, I actually pulled a kid off of it for fear of him falling in.  The thanks I received was an irritated mother whose conversation I had interrupted.  Maybe I should have told her I was sorry because I did not know that she wanted her kid to be gator bait.

2.  Swimming Pool Delay.  We belong to a swimming pool that we pay for monthly (as in every month of the year).  This is the second summer that we have belonged to it, and I can count on my two hands how many times we have actually been to the pool in both of those summers.  I had good intentions, I really meant to take the kids every day this summer that the pool was open.  Then the ear infections and sinus infections happened and that goal became a distant dream.  Not to mention it is really time consuming to pack all of the stuff that three kids (and myself) need for the pool and drive the eight miles out to the pool.  Next week we will try to remedy that, but I am sure that it will rain all week.  No matter that it has not rained but about two days all summer, the clouds will come as soon as I plan to spend the next three weeks at the pool.

3.  "Fun Things To Do with your Kids in the Summer" as deemed by Pinterest.  Ok, well, anything that involves "Pinterest."  The word "Pinterest" should have been enough there to explain the procrastinations.  Pinterest, by design, is a place where we pin our good intentions and then never do them because they are just so detailed.  Yet, there we are, day after day, pinning things that we will never get around to which will just make us feel inadequate compared to the people who actually completed these pins.  Who are these people anyway, would you please raise your hand?  there should be a website to commend those who actually complete more than ten pins on Pinterest.  Why is it again that we log onto Pinterest?  For a swift kick of reality that we suck as people because we aren't as crafty, tidy, or organized as we should be?  Our houses aren't fabulously decorated "for just a few dollars because I can make something that someone else threw out look fabulous in just a couple of minutes with things you can find in your own home" nor are they so wonderfully organized "in just a few minutes of your time each day" because let's be honest, we had rather spend the time pinning these fabulous ideas than actually implementing them.  As far as the food goes, who has time to cook every single pin that is pinned on Pinterest?  But in case you want to, follow this board and this board because one has great food and the other is funny.  Laughing reduces calories so it is a win-win.

4.  Read more books.  Maybe that should have been "pretend" to read more books and then this would not have to be on the list.  My kids have read, a lot actually because I instituted my "mandatory reading time", read about that here.  I, however, have been distracted.  Writing two blogs during that time takes awhile (see my other blog here).  Ok, I will be honest, my blogs have suffered too (but of course you know that since you read my blog, I have not posted nearly as much).  There have been distractions.  Jessica Simpson had her baby, Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise broke up, the Kourtney Kardashian baby-watch was happening, Reality Steve was discussing The Bachelorette spoilers (which I am still waiting to find out if it is going to be Arie or Jef, but let's be real, it should have been Sean); it has been a busy summer.  I did, however, get one book read (other than a cookbook).  I just finished it last night (mostly so I could write that in this post, but it still counts).

5.  Exercise with the kids every morning.  When the summer started, the kids and I were pumped up about walking and jogging every morning.  We did that one morning.  One.  We did not even attempt for the second morning.  That says a lot about our will power.  It says more than I am willing to say out loud.  However, in our defense, on that morning it was humid and we all have asthma (well, 2, maybe 3, out of 4 of us do), the middle child fell down and scraped her knees all up (which in the world of a 6 year old was a very dramatic tragedy), the now-2-year-old was cranky, the now-9-year-old was hot, and my knee hurt.  Ok, let's face it, we prefer to be in the air conditioning when it is over 100 degrees outside.

So there you have it, my top 5 list of summer failures, um, I mean procrastinations.  The actual list is longer, but I do not want everyone to know all of my flaws... Now to go take care of the new puppy that my husband decided to get us this summer, which is my main excuse for not being able to get anything done this summer.

someecards.com - Between Pinterest, TomKat's split, the Kardashian baby watch, Reality Steve's Bachelorette spoilers, and the weather, I procrastinated the summer away...

Saturday, July 7, 2012

These Things Happen at Your House Too, Right?

This week has put me through the ringer, shook me off, and shoved me back through.  A holiday in the middle of the week was cruel, it made the week extra long.  As a matter of fact, this week was so long that I kept thinking that it was two weeks, which only made matters worse.  I love my kids, I love being with them, but they sincerely and thoroughly kicked my butt this week.

My youngest daughter will be two in less than two weeks, but she has reached her two-year-old personality early.  So far this week she has learned to climb up on top of her dresser by stacking books, blocks, boxes, anything her little hands can pick up.  Serious hazard, I know.  But do you know why she wants on top of her dresser?  To get the remote controls to her tv because she is convinced that they are phones and she desperately wants to call Henry the Octopus from The Wiggles.  Now, I am all for a kid being a fan of something, but this octopus thing has me at my wits end.  She wears her shoes on her hands (because Henry wears shoes on all of his "hands"), refuses to wear them on her feet and it is beginning to draw some attention when we are in public.  She has taken it one step further at night now and pulls her arms out of the top of her pajamas (they are long sleeves) so that the empty sleeves of her pajamas appear to be two extra arms.  And she stands in her bed and sings "Move Your Arms Like Henry."  I am sure every two year old thinks they are an octopus, right?  Except last night she did not do this.  Last night she learned how to take all of her clothes off (diaper included).  I had to re-dress her two times last night while she kicked and screamed because she did not want clothes.  Great, we have a streaker.  This is also the kid that I caught brushing her hair with the toilet brush earlier in the week right before we had to go to the store.  True story.  My gag reflexes still work while reading that sentence. 

My six-year-old daughter has a fixation with HGTV.  Again, I am sure that this is completely normal, I am sure that most six-year-olds want to redecorate their room, bathroom, house, etc instead of playing with friends.  This daughter is usually the one who is the "pleaser," she never wants to rock the boat.  Imagine my surprise and horror when this child had a meltdown in Home Goods because I would not buy her a pair of new lamps for her room, not the toys from the toy section, but a nice pair of glass lamps.  I need to stage an intervention, she is cut off from HGTV.

My nine-year-old (just had a birthday this week) has assumed the role of the "boss."  She knows everything and I know nothing.  I was prepared for this in about three years, not now.  It is a constant battle for the last word.  My husband says she is just like me so I should not be surprised.  Nobody has seen him since he made that statement, I don't know what happened to him, I swear (just kidding....).  This kid is really into the Food Network and now considers herself a food critic (wonderful).  This is not always a bad thing since I also have a food blog (The Organic Southern Mommy) and I constantly ask their opinion, but feeling as if I am on the show Chopped  (or maybe it is Hell's Kitchen) when I fix her a bowl of cereal or a sandwich is beginning to be a bit much.  I may stage an intervention for her as well.

The one thing I had working for me this week is that I have made a mandatory "Reading Time" every afternoon for an hour and a half.  That is right, ninety minutes of pure peace and quiet every day when the almost-two-year-old is taking a nap.  In my opinion, that has been my moment of genius for the summer and I should be given some kind of award for that...

someecards.com - If we all work together, we can make Mommy go crazy and that might be fun to watch.

Monday, July 2, 2012

You Brought Home a What??!!

I have not written a blog post in a few weeks.  Things have been busy around here, the kids have been sick (shocking), we have been out of town, my knee is messed up, oh, and my husband brought home a dog.  You read that right, a dog, a six week old puppy.  Without asking if I would like one.  Ok, well, let's be completely honest, he had hinted about a dog the night before he actually brought one home, and I basically told him that I would kill him if he went through with that decision.  Apparently he did not listen, or did not care, because the next afternoon we had a dog.

The problem is that I could not tell him to take it back because all of the kids went nuts over this little ball of fur, and it was going to make me look like the bad guy.  Oh, it is a Yorkie (cut the "awwws", I know they are cute, but I was not in the market for another dog).  You see, we have a dog; a four year old weenie dog that bites anyone that comes to visit.  And we have a cat.  And an almost two-year-old; you see where this is heading, right?  I get to potty train and house train for the whole next year, happy summer/fall/winter/spring to me.  Apparently our house did not have enough drama for my  husband, he felt the need to go out an purchase some more.  And on that note, we could have gone on a weekend family vacation for what he paid for that dog.

Now, my husband promised that he would take care of the dog, but he is at work for a good twelve hours of the day, so guess who gets to take care of the dog for half of the day?  The one who did not want another dog in the first place: me.  And guess who gets to take care of the dog for the second half of the day in which it is asleep because it is nighttime?  My husband, the one who thought having a "friend" for our other dog would be fun.  I have news for him, our other dog did not want any friends, she was just fine terrorizing the cat.

I will have to admit that the little fur ball was winning me over with his cuteness before he pooped on my shoe while I was wearing it.  Did I mention that they were flip flops?  I will let your imagination take you from there.  Meanwhile, my husband had the audacity to get aggrivated when the dog wanted out at 4:30 one morning because he had just taken him out two hours before (to his credit, he usually takes the dog out in the middle of the night, a little because I refuse and mostly because I put the whinning dog's crate on his side of the bed so the dog could wake him up).  These are the times that I have to remind him that he brought this drama, I mean dog, home, and I get up at least three times a night with our almost two-year-old who refuses to sleep continuously.

For you dog lovers out there, I am not being mean about the dog,  Most of the time I agree that he is a cute little piece of fur (he is a teacup Yorkie, he will always be tiny), but then that piece of fur starts whining and does not wait for someone to get him out of his cage before he poops in it, so I am left to clean out the cage while my husband takes the dog out.  I might rather take the dog out at 3 am than to clean out his cage.  The dog is cute, I think he is great, but my husband is still sleeping in the doghouse for this one...

Advice for husbands: if your wife tells you she will kill you if you make a certain decision and your friends try to talk you out of it by telling you that your wife is going to kill you, it is probably not a good, sound decision to go ahead and do it anyway.

someecards.com - Is there not enough drama in this house with 3 kids? Do you really feel as if you need to add to it??!!