Wednesday, August 15, 2012

What NOT to do in the Car Pool Line: Are You an Offender?

Over the past four years, I have had the pleasure of sitting in six different car pool lines for an approximate total of 23,760 minutes which is 396 hours or 16.5 days (based on spending 33 minutes a day, 22 days a month for 9 months a year).  Wow, what I could do with all that time!  Not the point.  The point is that I have observed a lot of different people in car pool lines.  Which means I have observed a lot of people doing weird and/or annoying things in car pool lines.  21 days of my life so far spent in car pool lines....maybe I should have written a blog on that.  But I'm not, I am writing about what you should NOT do in a car pool line.  Remember, other people can see you....

1.  Do not pick your nose.  I know, I am going with the obvious one first.  We tell our kids not to pick their nose at school, and yet, there you are, their parent, picking your nose in front of all of their friends' parents.  Not the classiest move you have ever made, nor the most sanitary.

2.  Stop singing at the top of your lungs.  Especially if your windows are down.  Odds are, you are not a great singer, even if you think you have a chance of winning American Idol, so the rest of us do not want to hear your rendition of a ballad or, better yet, "Baby Got Back" (true story, I have heard someone do this in the car pool line).  If you must sing, make sure your windows are indeed up, and use your inside voice.

3.  Do not bring vomiting children.  If you have another child in the car with you who has to open the door to vomit outside the car more than once (I'm giving you some wiggle room here with "once" because maybe you did not know they were sick before you got in the car pool line), leave that child at home with another care giver.  If that is not an option, get to the school early enough to check out your other child so that the person behind you in the car pool line do not have to watch a continuous reenactment of something they never wanted to watch.

4.  Do not be disrespectful of other people's time.  If your child is ALWAYS the last kid out to the pick up line, do not continuously be the first person in the car pool line so that everyone else waits an extra ten minutes DAILY so that your child can lolly gag through the school.  Some people are so rude and clueless.

5.  Do not keep your doors open.  If your car is clean on the inside, keep the automatic doors shut in the car pool line.  I am sincerely glad (and mostly jealous) that your car looks like it just got detailed, but keeping your automatic doors open everyday in line is just showing off.  Close your doors, you are making the rest of us look bad (read Ode to My Minivan here).

6.  Do not shout profanity and use ugly gestures to the other parents.  Why?  Because you have to see them EVERYDAY.  These are the people that you will be spending at least 16.5 days of your life with, I don't think that causing tension is the smartest way to go here.  However, a little horn blowing never hurt (car pool road rage: read about it here).

7.  Do not fall asleep.  At least without setting the alarm clock on your cell phone.  I get so frustrated when parents fall asleep and do not know that the car pool line is moving.  Horn honking does not always work in the case.  If you are the car behind this moron, and honking is not working, get your un-showered self out of your car (I don't care who sees that your clothes don't match), and knock on the clueless snoozing  person's window.  Hopefully it will shame them into setting an alarm next time.

8.  Do not get so into your reading that you do not know what is going on around you.  If you are one of those people who checks out on the world around you when you are reading, this is probably not the best way to pass your time in a car pool line.  If the school could blow up and you wouldn't notice, then you should probably put the book down.  If little aliens jump out of the car in front of you and start dancing on every one's care and you wouldn't notice, then you should probably put the book down.  If an entire car line can disappear in front of you because they have already picked up their kids and a gazillion car horns are honking at you and you wouldn't notice, then you should probably put the book down.  Just saying....


  1. Hahaha! I'm gonna come clean and admit that I'm guilty of atleast 3, all right 5. Love this post! Visting your site from Bloggy Moms. :-)Liked your FB page & following you now on Twitter.

    1. Thanks! I have to admit that I have done a couple myselft, lol. Thanks for following me, I am now also following you :)


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