Friday, October 12, 2012

The Pinterest Wedding: Unrealistic Expectations

Pinterest....a place for people to develop the electronic hoarding habit and unrealistic expectations in every aspect of life.  Today's topic: Weddings.  Pinterest has boosted wedding planning to a whole new level, making the moment of engagement and the wedding seem more important that the actual marriage itself.  In my opinion, the following are the most ludicrous of the pins of expectations that I have seen on Pinterest.

  1. Rules for getting engaged (according to someone on Pinterest who obviously has not been engaged or married): "Make it a complete surprise."  For whom?  The girl?  Real life: the girl has the guy so manipulated that he is the one surprised when he pops the question because even he didn't know he was going to do it.  "Let the best friends help with the ring." Ummm....no, because the girl has probably already picked out the ring and had the jeweler lead him to it.  "Get somebody to catch it on camera."  Let's see, unless the previous rule of making it a complete surprise has been broken, the guy will not do this.  The only way this is happening is if the girl planned it.  But seriously, the money for the photographer could have gone toward the ring.
  2. That brings me to the ring.  There are pins of rings, beautiful rings, that only a very wealthy person could afford.  What does this do to the guy if this is what you are expecting?  You haven't even gotten married (or engaged) yet and you are already projecting unrealistic expectations on him and your future.  Save the extra money for your future together.
  3. Wedding dresses and fantastically fattening food.  These two do not mix.  If you eat all of that food that you are pinning, you most certainly will not fit into that wedding dress even if you do all of those workouts that you pin after salivating over the food.
  4. "Cutesy" ways of asking friends to be your bridesmaid.  News flash: your closest friends already know you are engaged because you have told them that he was going to ask you to marry him because rule or no rule, you knew about it.  Because this is the case, if you don't ask them to be in your wedding, you will no longer have friends.  So, save your time and money and just verbally ask them, they will still say "yes" even if there is no poem about your friendship (which will probably make some of them cringe on the inside anyway).
  5. Elaborate wedding decorations, favors, etc.  Keep your wedding simple and sweet, your husband and you are the only ones who will remember it (mostly because a photographer was appropriately hired for this occasion), and no one else really cares how elaborate it is.  Focus more on the marriage, not the wedding.

Disclaimer: I am not a cynical person, I just think that the planning for weddings spiral out of control, and leads the couple down an unrealistic path of unattainable expectations that life has to be like a magazine or movie or fairytale.  Plus, most guys will not be that in to planning for the wedding, even if they pretend, so give them a break.

Pinned Image

Thursday, October 11, 2012

The Great Masterpiece

This has not been a normal week for me.  Not that any week is "normal," I forgot what that word meant a long time ago.  Last week my 2 year old decided to leap out of her crib like she was Super Woman or something.  Sure, I was a little sad that the last kid was now out of the crib, but now gone forever was my chance to put her in her crib while I did something else....like anything.  There is no way to contain her now, she can do anything (even though I can't, believe me, the irony is not lost on me). 

No longer is her naptime a time for me to do things...like watch Nate Berkus or The View or clean the house (let's be honest, I like to watch tv when it isn't on NickJr.).  It is now a time when I have to stop her from jumping on her big-girl bed or climbing out of it or pulling pictures off the wall (different story for a later time).  Now I have to watch her on the video monitor instead of watching Nate.  Because the big mistake is not watching her, which I found out the other morning.

While I was cleaning the house the other morning (yes, cleaning, not sitting with my feet up in the air on the recliner watching tv), my two year old was creating a masterpiece.  While I thought she was sleeping, she was making a blue piece of artwork on her yellow walls.  Let me pause here to interject that she has no paint or crayons in her room.  The day before, at her big sister's school, she had been giving a cupcake with blue icing.  That's right people, I said blue.  Her great masterpiece on her yellow wall was made with her very own blue poop.

The end....there is nothing more I can say after that.

Funny Family Ecard: Wife to husband: 'Hi, you won't believe what YOUR child just did. Please come home and deal with her.'

Friday, October 5, 2012

Can You Party Like It's 1995?

Recently I have been making fun of my husband because it has been 20 years since he was a senior in high school (for the record, it has only been 17 years since I was a senior in high school; I am much younger).  But all of this teasing has gotten me thinking about what life was like 17 years ago (for those math whizzes out there, the year would be 1995).  I started talking to my children about it, and they are certain that they could not survive (no DirecTV, no internet, no DVD or DVR?!).  Question is, could I still survive in 1995?

In 1995, I drove a car with a car phone (I had just upgraded from a "bag phone," which plugged into the cigarette lighter...anyone remember those?).  Notice I did not say a "cell" phone, those came much later.  These were very inconvenient when you were waiting for a phone call because you actually had to stay in the car, with the ignition on.  You couldn't walk around talking to someone and no one had ever heard of "texting."  Plans for the night had to be made in person or on the car phone or, Heaven forbid, on the house phone.  Of course, way back then no one called it a "house" phone or a "land" line, it was simply just the "phone."  Oh, and many of those house phones still had cords attached to the receiver (so did the car phone).  If you had a "cordless" house phone, the antenna was so long that you could not sit comfortable up against anything because the antenna would bend.

We did not have an internet connection on our home computer (assuming you had a home computer at this point since the "mouse" for the computer was a relatively new thing).  That's right, you read that correctly, no internet.  That also meant no email, no chatting online, no blogging, and (gasp) no social media.  We had no idea what was going on with everyone we had ever met in our entire lifetime every second of their day.  That is unless we were sitting next to them in class where we passed notes and the teacher picked them up and pinned them on the bulletin board for everyone to see.  That's how everyone found out everything about you way back then.  And to think we were still stupid enough to pass those things day after day.

There was no concept of taking a picture of what you were doing and immediately posting it online for the world to see.  Come to think of it, that was probably a good thing.  When we took pictures, it was with a camera, and not a digital one.  These cameras actually had film in them that we had to get developed, no instant gratification of knowing that it was a terrible picture of you and should be re-taken. 

However, the worst part (according to my modern children) is that you could not just download a song whenever you wanted and have it immediately.  "What did you do when you wanted to hear a song?!"  Well, obviously over-privileged child of mine, I listened to the radio with a tape in the tape recorder so that I could press "record" when they finally played the song.  "What's a tape recorder?" I gave up, they don't get it.

The best part about 1995: When having a conversation with someone, you were actually having a conversation with that one person, not the people texting you or them, the people talking to you on social media, or the people emailing you.  No wonder we all have ADD, we do too many things at one time.

So, the question is, could you party like it's 1995?  Could you trash your cell phone, your email, your social media, your DVR?  For a week, could you do it?  Or would you have the DTs?