Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Top 5 Mental Notes to Prevent Embarrassment

People of all ages do this.  It takes place all over the world.  As a matter of fact, if you do not do this, you are seriously debilitating yourself socially.  I am talking about making mental notes (or notes to self as I like to call them).  Mental sticky notes stuck all inside your head that remind you to do something, or, as in my case, not to do something.  Do not kid yourself, this is the same thing as talking to yourself.  Actually, if you stop and think about it, the best conversations probably take place inside of your own head.

I started thinking of "notes to self" yesterday while in the doctor's office, where I made an important mental note (I will get to that in a minute).  In order to save you people from the embarrassment that I have endured over the years and to give you things to think about, I am going to give you my top 5 "Notes to Self."
  1. Wear new socks to doctor visits.  I thought of this one yesterday as I was sitting in the doctor's  office wearing a hospital gown and dingy socks that were very worn on the bottom.  It dawned on me then that I should have bought new socks to wear because doctors are more likely to see your socks than your underwear.
  2. Turn off Justin Bieber or One Direction when your children exit your car.  Otherwise the people that pull up beside you at a red light or in a parking lot are going to think that you are rocking out to JB or OD, and that is just an awkward moment that no one really wants to live through.
  3. Remember that it could always be worse: you could look like you did in middle school.  When you are looking in the mirror thinking that you have aged or you are having a bad hair day or a bad eyelash day (surely I cannot be the only one who has these?!), just remember you could look like that awkward middle school kid you used to be that is documented in over a hundred people's yearbooks.  Doesn't that just brighten up your day?
  4. Teach your daughters (at an early age) to cover up from neck to ankles.  If moving to a colder climate, such as Alaska, is what it takes to make sure your daughter stays covered from neck to ankles, then by all means do so.  This stems from a conversation that I heard in a department store not that long ago.  Mother [to her teenage daughter]: You cannot buy that top because it barely covers your stomach, you might as well be wearing a swim suit in public. Daughter [to her mother]: Mom, that's a great idea!  I will just wear my bikini top with this mini skirt. Mother [to her teenage daughter]: That top is great, let's go buy it. 
  5. Do not walk through your house wearing just your underwear unless you have all of the blinds closed because someone standing outside will see you every single time.  The yard guy.  The yard guy was outside when I had to run to the laundry room to get my clothes.  He was early and we never spoke of it.

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